Real life critical fumbles – Cookery

No matter how many adventures you’ve been on, no matter how many foes you have defeated and no matter how many villages you have saved, everyone has moments when they’re not fully paying attention or when they’re a little too hung over or when they are simply having a bad day.
That’s why fumbles exist, because no one is always at their best. In gaming terms fumbles can happen at any time and lead to you injuring yourself, injuring your friends or aiding your enemies, but fumbling in real life can be no less disastrous and fumbling whilst cooking can lead to injuring yourself, others or loss of life.
Cookery real life critical fumbles:

01 – 25 You made slightly too much. It’s ok, you can have the rest tomorrow.
26 – 30 It’s slightly burnt and there are parts that you can’t eat. You will need to eat again in an hour.
31 – 40 You burn your tongue on the hot soup. -2 hits.
41 – 50 There was a bone in the stew. A big one. -10 hits.
51 – 60 You burn yourself on a hot pan. A burn critical.
61 – 65 The soup is ridiculously hot (you’re not even sure how you got it so hot). -10 hits and -5 to all skills that require you to talk.
66 You decide that great food is fresh food and buy yourself some chickens. You need to pay for their upkeep. Also you buy some goats for milk and cheese. And some cows. And some sheep. And a lake. You are now bankrupt.
67 – 70 The food was undercooked and you have made a lot of people in town very sick. -10 to all skills that involve or are witnessed by anyone you poisoned.
71 – 80 The knife slips while chopping vegetables and you cut yourself. Bleed at 6 hits per round.
81 – 85 The chicken is undercooked and you make yourself very ill. Roll open ended on the internal poison critical table.
86 – 90 Your oven isn’t safe. It explodes causing you C heat critical fire damage and ruining the food.
91 – 95 The workbench slips while chopping vegetables and you cut off a digit. Bleed at 15 hits per round, seek urgent medical attention. The food is ruined.
96 – 99 You accidentally add something that is poisonous to the food. 40 hits, death in 30 minutes.
100 You luck out and cook your guest the best meal they have ever had. It turns out they’re a food critic and (without consulting you) get you a job in a top restaurant. On your first night as head chef you kill 12 people and make 37 more sick with your cooking. You are placed in prison for the next 45 years.