Hi,
First of all I want to say that I am really positively impressed by how serious Nicholas took our feedback - it shows on so many occasions and also details, where something was changed according to our comments on this forum.
Second I really like what I have seen so far from the new manuscript and I think that it has made a huge leap towards release readiness (i.e. Rasyr can start gathering art work
).
Third here my comments on the first 5 chapters / 100 pages:
p30: I would integrate the information of the Fusion's category bonuses into the table of the Favored Categories, e.g.with a *.
p41: Radiation Resistance: is the Critical reduced by one step or one size? It is written "step", but I think Criticals have sizes, or?
p58: Air Pilot Helicopters: I would call it Air Pilot Helicopter (i.e. singular and not plural)
p61: Some of the Combat Styles & Maneuvers that automatically reduce penalties give a bonus after the penalty has been reduced to zero (i.e. Aerial Combat and Zero-G) and some not (e.g. Combat Driving, Mounted Combat, Blindfighting)? In Martial Law also Mounted Combat gives a bonus after the penalty has been reduced to 0 -> What about taking in this case the Martial Law ruling and extending it to Combat Pilot and Blindfighting as well? Then there would be consistency over all styles that use this kind of maneuver resolution...
p65: It is stated that the given Engineering skills are just examples. I would prefer to have a comprehensive list of the Engineering skills with a statement that the SysOp can change them at his discretion. Personally I think the 13 given skills are comprehensive, so no need to add anything, just make it official that these are the ones for Tintamar (and that therefore there is no need for a SysOp to start looking for more ...).
p65/66: First Aid focusses on Bleeding and Stabilization. But also bone setting and pain relief are mentioned -> perhaps add also some more detailed ruling on that?
p66: Would it be possible to get a comprehensive list of the different terrains/environments for which the Foraging/Survival skill must be developed seperately?
p66/67: How does Frenzy work with modern weapons? E.g. it is mentioned that the character moves in a direct line towards the next target -> why should he do that with a gun in his hands? I suggets to put in sone clarification. And just to be sure: a frenzied character with Cyberware option "Stunblocker" can not be brought out of a Frenzy ahead of time?
p67: Modern cannons (as e.g. used in today's tanks): do they belong to Blackpowder Cannons or Modern Direct-fire Systems? Although they use some kind of blackpowder, I think they behave most likely more like Modern Direct-fire System. I suggest a clarification here. Another question is: what skill do I use for dropping bombs from an airplane?
p67: After some thinking about it: what is the benefit of the skill "Horticulture"? There is already Biology and Craft or Vocation: Farmer, ....
p68: I would also state in the Jumping skill that with different gravity all distances have to be divided by the number of g.
p68: As already stated, I would like to see the Language table here instead of in the SysOp chapter. The same applies for the Lore table.
p68: In Machine Operation it is stated that this skill gives a bonus to operating standard machinery. I would have assumed that this skill is used for operating any kind of machinery, the complexity of the machinery then influences the difficulty of the maneuver?
p69: I suggest in Marine Pilot to call the subskill Hydrofoil and not Hydrofoils (see comment on Air Pilot)
p73: Also for Space Pilot I would use the singular for all specializations.
p82: Active Psionic Field is, when assuming alphabetical order for all talents, at the wrong place (should be earlier).
p84: What is the sense of the "and/or" in the description of Extremely Nimble -> in my opinion it should be either "and" or "or", but both confuses me.
p85: The descriptions of the two High Gravity Talents are different - in one you say "stat bonus modifier" and in the other "stat modifier" for AG and PR -> I suggest to have the same description for both.
p87: Shouldn't give Magnetic Sense the same +10 to relevant Maneuvers as Electric Sense? In theory, with Magnetic Sense you should also be able to detect the magnetic fields of electrical currents, or?
BR
Juergen