Topic: Funny new group

[JohnD]

Sounds like a group that is a joy to GM for.

[gandalf970]

Hiking out to the orchard was fun.  They met a trader on the road who had a beautiful daughter.  The two romeo's started smiling and playing instruments.  The monk, who doesn't role play disappeared looking for herbs.  Dirge started parlaying the trader with tales of the Grinder clan.  That's when it got funny, the trader had indeed heard of them.  He started saying how great they were and all this.  The party was in shock!  The Magician tried to see if they were being taken, but to no avail.  The young beauty made Porvald dance with Rombius, it was hysterical.  They made some trades to their benefit and even bartered for some sweet cream rolls and dark beer.

The next day they make the orchard and now it gets serious!  All this time they had their hearts set on apple pies, apple cider, apple crisp etc.  well half the orchard was picked clean.  Over stolen apples and livlihood of the local village they were drawn together.  The monk asked why would kobolds pick apples?  They all stared blankly and said, the little bastards have a recipe!  Right then and there I broke out laughing.  We had to stop the game for 15 minutes so we all could compose ourselves.  Everyone received 2000 xp for that!  More to follow.

[GrumpyOldFart]

The monk asked why would kobolds pick apples?  They all stared blankly and said, the little bastards have a recipe!

Seems like there's a whole lot of human history folklore concerning nastiness involving apples. "The little bastards have a recipe" could be the beginning of something very big and very ugly.

 

[gandalf970]

To continue, they searched the orchard and found not kobold tracks, but booted feet amd wagon wheels.  They tracked it north away from the kobold hills.  Then they made a near fatal mistake, they split up.  The Mage, cleric and bard all went back to town while Dirge, Porvald and Sling decided to stay with the tracks. 

As the trackers come over a rise they see wifts of smoke so they investigate.  The thief sneaks up and sees three surly looking sorts drinking and gambling.  So he walks in and says hidee-ho!  They laugh and invite him in.  The banter was great as he is telling them about the apples and beer they have as well as showing them his new boots.  They hold him down and start beating him up.  Once they went for his boots things got serious! 

Dirge and Sling finally hear Porvald scream like a girl and come running.  Porvald knifes one and is then knocked out.  As the others arrive Dirge drops one with his axe and Sling jumps on the downed one to get the kill pts.  Dirge is shouting "for the honor of the Grinders"!  The monk proceeds to take out one of the bandits while Dirge the dwarf I pales another with his drawn out stories.  Sling the monk does indeed take this one down also. 

Two of the bandits die, but the last one wishes he would have perished as well.  They tie him up, Porvald wakes up to see one of his boots was removed and tossed in the fire.  He tells the others to look around for the other bandits who ran.  Dirge and Sling head out.  Porvald sticks his sword point in the fire and takes off the bandits boots.  They don't fit him and now a malicious evil side comes out.  He uses the hot sword point to burn the bandits feets until he passes out.  When the others return they see ol Porvald getting his new boots on and the bandits fee all blistered and bloodied!   What crazy looks they gave him!