Topic: Quirky Arms Law results: Hilarity ensues

[Frabby]

This has just happened in my group and since we were all dying with laughter I'll share the situation with you (mods, if this is the wrong forum feel free to move this post).

The situation: The party is sent to investigate a frontier noble's odd behaviour and approach his castle as a snow storm begins. Unbeknowns to the party, the castle's inhabitants were all killed a few days ago - by accident, an artifact in the treasury had conjured a powerful demonic being that ran amok until, after killing everybody else, it ran into its master (chained to the dungeon wall) who banished it but still couldn't free himself.

The party, unawares of the backstory, encounters a mother/kid pair of ogres in the entrance area playing with and feeding on dead humans and horses. Both creatures are slain with little effort and just to be sure their throats are slit. Then they are dragged outside.
Searching the castle, two characters enter the lord's bedchamber and find his corpse. This triggers a ghostly apparition that proclaims they shall leave the castle alive until his murder is avenged. The apparition doesn't actually have the power to place such a geas on the party, it is just a "recorded message". But the characters know that it's technically possible and presume they are under the spell.
Naturally, they first want to find out if the supposed geas only applies to the two who entered the bedchamer, or to the whole party. The dwarf warrior is sent through the gate and the player is told by the GM he's feeling somewhat uncomfortable (because the Dwarf fears he might be under the spell). In lieu with his character (and his talents and flaws), the player decides the Dwarf won't admit to feeling uncomfortable. He refuses to go further away from the gate than the few steps he's taken, returns and claims everything is ok.

Somewhat later, lingering evil demonic power raises the two ogres outside as undead because, unlike the other corpses throughout the castle, they've been dead for only an hour or so ago. The big one returns to the stable to continue eating horses, and makes a lot of noise.

Soo... during the nightly snow storm the party returns to the dark stables and finds a big being at large which they think is papa ogre. Again, it is dispatched rather easily. In the final round of combat, the Dwarf achieves a critical against large creature with his magical mace... and rolls 97, 02 for a total of 99. The priceless magical weapon breaks. (And the ogre was out of hitpoints from the others' attacks anyways, so this particular strike didn't even matter much). The short-tempered (character flaw) Dwarfs flies into a rage over the loss, draws a morningstar and runs outside to see the smaller ogre through the gate. He runs a step or two beyond the gate, attacks the other ogre, wins initiative, rolls 01 (fumble, results inconsequential). The young ogre respons with a claw attack exceeding 250 (cut off at medium claw attack threshold) and scores a 13 C Puncture critical against AT13. Rolls a 93... which would normally mean instant death.

GM intervention decides to treat the AT13 as plate armor in this instance to give the party 9 rounds to do something; the armor is declared destroyed.

From the party's viewpoint, it has been proven beyond reasonable doubt there is a very powerful curse upon them: The two ogres outside became undead, the dwarf who went outside is blessed with phenomenal bad luck and is dying. Yep, they're strongly motivated to solve the adventure...

[reywind]

nice sequence of events ... probably very fun to watch that unfold.  I have one as well.

This was a MERP adventure ...

While scouting the Deeps of Moria, we were a stealthy group that were on a recon mission to assess the goblin strength of Moria, before a major multi-racial force tried to retake the ancient dwarven home .. or at least gain a foothold within.

while scouting one of the 7 Deeps ... I think it was a 3rd, but it has been a while since that time ... we happened upon a long bridge that spanned a dark underground lake. Still, cold and black as a calm winter's night sky. When we got onto the bridge our GM rolled a random encounter chance, of which there was one, and then he rolled the worst possible encounter for the location ... a water born Huge Cave Drake. We were in the middle of the bridge which spanned into the darkness for hundreds of feet. No matter which direction we took the drake had us out maneuvered. There was no running away from this encounter. We all took up arms and prepared to fight and most likely die in the attempt.

To be cruel ... that is my only assessment ... the GM also noted that we had reached a second random encounter spot and had one of the party members roll the chance ... DING ... a second random encounter and this time, as rolled by the group as the GM never wanted to be accused of rigging anything, it happened to be a large Cave Worm which was advancing toward us on the bridge.

Quickly ... as the drake was only a move or two away  from engaging us with its breath weapon ... one of our party members blurted out .."Hey .. a worm, I wonder if drakes like worms".  We had a collective "Hmmmm?", then immediately rushed the worm ... attacked the poor thing from all sides ... it lasted only 2 rounds, then we tossed the carcass into the lake ... the drake snatched up the offering and we hauled tail.

it was just so funny that a ridiculous set of random die rolls basically created and resolved a horrible threat. It is probably one of those "you had to be there" events.

That was more than a decade ago and is still brought up as one of our favorite encounters. 

[Frabby]

MERP/Arms Law "You had to be there" moments... we had another couple of these.

One was when the party split while attacking an enemy fortress. They ended up charging the same tower staircase from two sides and naturally the dwarf warrior up front in one team had a crossbow ready with the delayed action to fire on any encounter.

But probably my favourite was this rather complicated mess:
The group is camping on a river shore. During the night they are attacked from a boat of river pirates. The group scatters; most run to the cover of the nearby woods.
The elf scout doesn't. He correctly figures that the human attackers cannot see much in the dark and that he is fairly safe from their ranged weapons once he has cleared the immediate vicinity of the camp fire. Thus, he runs towards the riverboat instead of away, dives into the waters, swims towards the unsuspecting boat and climbs the boat from the other side while all pirates are focused on the shore. Lucky rolls not only make the swimming, diving, sneaking and climbing maneuvers look like a cakewalk, he actually gets behind the enemy captain unnoticed and prepares to ambush him with his dagger. Since the elf moved away from the rest of the party, this was played in the next room.
Meanwhile... our young apprentice (lvl 2 or so) magician has rolled poorly and didn't get very far away before she decided to cower and hide in some bushes (for lack of a better alternative). She decides to watch the unfolding situation and makes a very good perception roll... or was that spectacularly poor. In any case, despite the darkness she can not only discern the enemy leader on the deck; she can even see the shadowy figure behind him who's obviously trying to hide from sight. Keenly realizing that the shadowy figure must be important, probably the real pirate leader or their wizard or something like that, she draws another party member's bow that she had somehow picked up during the flight, takes aim at extreme range, and lets fly an arrow with her poor OB (something around 20 if I recall correctly). The idea was a combination of desperation, and perhaps hoping to distract the enemy, with only an off chance to actually hit anything. You can see where this is going - she rolled a phenomenal attack with an A crit and headshot-killed the elf scout. 

[reywind]

that is classic ...

one of those weird moments for us ... while traveling from Lorien to Esgaroth, the group decided it best to circumvent Mirkwood rather than go straight through ... so we went south and one evening we were camping in the eaves of Mirkwood.

thinking it safe we started a campfire and settled in ... during the night our campfire attracted the unwanted attention of a small band of scavenging goblins from the forest. very stealthily the had maneuvered with a bowshot from the camp. a bowshot was our first alarm as it struck our elf scout in the neck.

this was a level 1 goblin with a 10 shortbow from long range ... rolled a 100 - open-ended - rolled another 90, got a max hit, the crit did not outright kill the scout, but he suffered a broken neck and was able to be stabilized by the group animist. We of course mobilized and chased off the outnumbered and out gunned goblins.

the surviving scout was abandoned by the player ... it was decided by the group to give the poor wretch a couple of items in party treasury .. a spider-slaying dagger and a set of limb-running boots and he set off into the woods to become an avenging force.

he is now known as old crick-neck of Southern Mirkwood, hunting spiders and goblins till this day... it is assumed.

[Marrethiel]

I think my favourite (because the player was so scarred he still brings it up years later) was when the party was fighting some flying monkeys in a forest. They were winning easily enough and he got a crit that said something like, "cuts open stomach, entrails spill out, foe fights normally until they die in 5 rounds". It was the "fights normally" that was amusing as the flying monkey dragging its entrails in the ground fought on apparently unconcerned as it dodged trees and undergrowth.

[Peter R]

Regional accents or poor diction can be lethal...

The player is riding along a wooded lane...
GM "An hour goes by, what do you do?"
Player "Keep on riding."
GM "Another hour goes by, what do you do?"
Player "Keep on riding."
GM "One hits you, you take 24 hits and a D..."
Player "What?!?"
GM "The arrow hit you."
Player "I thought you said..."

[Moostik]

Regional accents or poor diction can be lethal...

The player is riding along a wooded lane...
GM "An hour goes by, what do you do?"
Player "Keep on riding."
GM "Another hour goes by, what do you do?"
Player "Keep on riding."
GM "One hits you, you take 24 hits and a D..."
Player "What?!?"
GM "The arrow hit you."
Player "I thought you said..."

 

[Spectre771]

MERP/Arms Law "You had to be there" moments... we had another couple of these.

 The idea was a combination of desperation, and perhaps hoping to distract the enemy, with only an off chance to actually hit anything. You can see where this is going - she rolled a phenomenal attack with an A crit and headshot-killed the elf scout. 

OMG!!!! That is amazing!  I'm laughing as I type this, but just cringing at the poor elf's luck!  That had to be one heck of a night.

[Spectre771]

Regional accents or poor diction can be lethal...

The player is riding along a wooded lane...
GM "An hour goes by, what do you do?"
Player "Keep on riding."
GM "Another hour goes by, what do you do?"
Player "Keep on riding."
GM "One hits you, you take 24 hits and a D..."
Player "What?!?"
GM "The arrow hit you."
Player "I thought you said..."

This too is awesome.  I had to read it three times before I figured it out.   

[Frabby]

Had a new one happen today (well, our group met yesterday but we played late and this happened past midnight so technically today...):

Q: What could be wrong with a character rolling a 98, 89, 64, and 99?

A: If the preceding roll on the Shock Bolt Attack Table was a 01... 

He basically fried his own brain. Spectacularly so. In a very tight situation.

(Fumble. Fumble roll 188, attack yourself & fall into a coma. Shockbolt attack vs. self resulted in a B crit. Roll 99. He'll be dead in 9 rounds. The mildly funny part: This particular character is wearing the powerful evil magic McGuffin pendant around his neck that the current minicampaign is all about. From what the module says, he's going to become another undead minion of the evil undead Necromancer who's tied to/resides inside the pendant, so our group is going to have their first undead PC soon. Plus, the module doesn't say what happens when the Pendant geas is fulfilled, which the group were minutes away from achieving before they made an inexcusable blunder. One other character is seriously down & out and they've basically alerted the enemy Necromancer and his entire camp with guarding Elementals to their presence and exact location. I may be facing a total party kill next session. The character who fumbled the spell may end up out-undying the rest of the party.)

[Kemengon]

I remember one of the most frustrating, from a GM's perspective - the party was fighting a powerful vampire lord, who was proving quite impossible to beat due to high DB and magic resistance (they were being over ambitious taking him on in the first place). During the protracted contest, a collective friend of ours came over to visit for a few minutes.  He had never played RM before, but the party (which included some very banged up characters) all convinced me that he should play one of the two ranger NPC's that was assisting the group.  His first (and last) actions ever in rolemaster: taking out a +5 magic bow, and rolling 4 sequential die rolls above 90, including a 100 critical.  Brains the vampire lord, to everyone's utter shock.  It was funny, and a huge relief for the party, but it was one hell of an anti-climax, especially as the "new guy" had little invested, so didn't really care. 

[Spectre771]

The character who fumbled the spell may end up out-undying the rest of the party.)

That is awesome!  Keep us posted.

On the bright side, if he is undead, then it's not a TPK!  At least ONE person should be happy.

[Rask Tril]

I remember a fun result.  Two player characters sheltering in large countryside inn. They had a reason to stay at the inn for a few days (waiting for delivery). At first, their stay seemed normal, but each night their sleep was disturbed by odd noises from the attic above. Each night the noises got a bit louder.  First it sounded like a rat scurrying around, then a small cat, then perhaps a dog.  Long story short, it was a demon and it was growing bigger each night....and hungrier.  Things began to get bloody and eventually, the two characters got into a running fight for their lives.  They wound up running to the adjacent barn/stables for their horses but the demon was hot on their tails.  The smarter character (the hafling rogue) took shelter behind a wagon.  The other guy (a brave but hapless dwarf fighter) decides to stand tall with his trusty black-powder pistol aimed toward the open barn doors.  They see the demons shadow as it swoops toward the ground and the dwarf patiently waits.  I made it very clear that the demon had quite a lot of speed gathered up as it swooped through the barn doors...but the dwarf waited until the last possible moment to fire (figuring his odds would be better).  Well...he rolled a critical to the head of the demon, instantly killing it.....but not killing it's speed and mass.  I rolled a "crushing" attack to see what happened as it slammed into the dwarf.  I rolled a critical, instantly killing the dwarf.  I described the demon slamming into the dwarf and both of them crashing through the back wall of the barn into the pig-sty, where they both lay dead.  The player loved dying that way...

[yammahoper]

I remember a fun result.  Two player characters sheltering in large countryside inn. They had a reason to stay at the inn for a few days (waiting for delivery). At first, their stay seemed normal, but each night their sleep was disturbed by odd noises from the attic above. Each night the noises got a bit louder.  First it sounded like a rat scurrying around, then a small cat, then perhaps a dog.  Long story short, it was a demon and it was growing bigger each night....and hungrier.  Things began to get bloody and eventually, the two characters got into a running fight for their lives.  They wound up running to the adjacent barn/stables for their horses but the demon was hot on their tails.  The smarter character (the hafling rogue) took shelter behind a wagon.  The other guy (a brave but hapless dwarf fighter) decides to stand tall with his trusty black-powder pistol aimed toward the open barn doors.  They see the demons shadow as it swoops toward the ground and the dwarf patiently waits.  I made it very clear that the demon had quite a lot of speed gathered up as it swooped through the barn doors...but the dwarf waited until the last possible moment to fire (figuring his odds would be better).  Well...he rolled a critical to the head of the demon, instantly killing it.....but not killing it's speed and mass.  I rolled a "crushing" attack to see what happened as it slammed into the dwarf.  I rolled a critical, instantly killing the dwarf.  I described the demon slamming into the dwarf and both of them crashing through the back wall of the barn into the pig-sty, where they both lay dead.  The player loved dying that way...

  +1

[Spectre771]

I remember a fun result.  Two player characters sheltering in large countryside inn. They had a reason to stay at the inn for a few days (waiting for delivery)...

...I described the demon slamming into the dwarf and both of them crashing through the back wall of the barn into the pig-sty, where they both lay dead.  The player loved dying that way...

That's awesome!  Definitely  +1