Author Topic: Preview 2: Creation Story  (Read 7316 times)

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Offline Defendi

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Preview 2: Creation Story
« on: January 13, 2006, 01:29:02 AM »
This is the history of the world up to its creation.  This is actually more in depth than what I have room for in the main book.  It's from the writer's bible.

Before Time
Before time there was only God.  No one knows exactly from whence God came, but some theorize that He came from another plane of existence that once God lived in another world.
   Some heretical legends say God fled a horror greater than He.  Regardless, God came, and with Him, came creation.
   God looked out upon the chaos of the space between spaces.  He reached out with His mind and said, ?Behold!  Thou shalt be!?
   And with those words the maelstrom of chaos formed the dark gulf of space.  And into this gulf, God wept at the beauty of creation.  His tears froze in the cold night, and as He wiped them clear, they formed the stars of the heavens.
   And God took of himself.  He took Fire from His heart and Earth from His flesh and Light from His radiance and Air from his breath and Water from his blood and Ice from his Sweat.  These, He formed into the elemental planes and transcribed the borders of creation.
   And God smiled into the cold, dark nothingness.  He reached into the plane of Earth, took of the pure materials there, and spun them into great treasures.  From Earth and Ice He formed the lands, to encase these treasures.  He took fluids from Water and created rivers and streams and oceans.  Finally, He laid a blanket of Air over the world, and called it Heaven.

The Birth of Life
And He looked upon Heaven and saw it would not ease His loneliness.  Thus, God gave birth to a Host of children.
   God spun these creatures into true representations of His glory, mighty beings of beauty and power and grace.  He called them the angelic choir.
   Then He created the plants and the animals and gave these creatures unto the Host to spread throughout Heaven.  And thus was Heaven prepared.
   Finally, He created His most cherished of children, the five mortal races.  He spun His breath into these children and set them in Heaven to live with him in joy and peace.
   Finished, God drew the Holy See up out of the ground, a giant home of diamond and jewel, into which He pored His Glory.  He entered into it, and from there He looked out upon all of Heaven, upon the Host and the plants and the animals and the mortals.
   And God was content.

The War in Heaven
The Archangels walked through Heaven and taught the five races.  All knew love and all knew peace.  And in particular, the Archangel Lareniel looked upon the five races and his heart filled with love.
   And Lareniel ached to experience the love God Himself felt.  He looked upon the five races and he sought to be more like unto God.
   And so Lareniel tried to create a sixth race.
   And the creatures he made were abominations, monsters of horror and pain.  Lareniel looked upon his creations and he wept.
   And Lareniel tried again.  And again, he created abominations.  And the Lord came and waved one great hand and all the horrors vanished.  And the Lord said:
   ?This cannot be.?
   And Lareniel besought unto his Father for the power to create life.  But the Lord said, ?Nay.?
   And Lareniel tried a third time and again his creations were unnatural.
   The Lord looked upon them and He roared with fury.  ?This, I forbid!? He said and Lareniel cringed in terror.  The archangel wept and crawled upon the ground and begged for the Lord?s forgiveness.  And the Lord found love in His heart and forgave him.
   But Lareniel walked among the Host and spread his poison and his pride.   The Host listened to him and he gathered followers.  Two thirds of the Host of Heaven stood against him, but his followers rallied.  Together, they stood against God and demanded the gift to create life, that they might be more like unto Him.
   And the Lord said, ?This is the crime of sin, and I say unto thee that it is unholy.?
   And Lareniel scoffed and demanded a second time the power to create life.  And again, the Lord said, ?Nay.?
   And the defiant angels demanded a third time and the Lord said, ?Thou shalt not defy Me!?
   And a third of the Host of Heaven took up arms against their Father.  The other two thirds rose up and stood against them.  Thus began the War in Heaven.
   And the Lord wept.
   The Faithful renamed Lareniel ?Bamon,? to deny him the name of God?s love.  They hacked one upon another and tore flesh with savage weapons.
   And the dwarves of the mortal races came before God to petition Him.  ?Thy Host has turned against Thee,? they cried.  ?Please, allow us to fight alongside the Faithful.  Please allow us to follow Thy Word.?
   And the Lord smiled upon them and blessed them with the Divine Spark, that they might survive.  And the dwarves took up arms and fought against the Fallen.
   And the elves and the humans petitioned God to let them fight, but they did not come as one.  God only granted the Spark to those who would take up arms.  And the humans and the elves joined the dwarves and took bore weapons against the Fallen.
   And the war rose in terrible might.
   And then the Nopheratus came.
   No one knows from whence it came.  Some believe it was the cause of Lareniel?s pride.  Some believe it came from beyond Heaven, drawn by the carnage.
   But it came.
   And the Fallen Host gathered followers from the Faithful mortals of God; when they fell in combat, the Nopheratus raised them.  And thus the dead fought alongside the living in defiance of God?s will.
   God?s love shone from the Holy See.  His light once illuminated all of Heaven, but now the Nopheratus came and the Fallen grew.  Now there grew lands in Heaven that lay in darkness, where the light of God was not known.
   The Host rallied and warred for a millennium, and the Fallen Host began to fail.  They arrayed for one final battle.
   And they took up arms against the Holy City.  And the Faithful and the Fallen joined in one last battle.  The Faithful fought and pushed and were sure to triumph.
   And betrayal rang once more through Heaven.
   The Fallen Host had spread their lies through the remaining Host.  The angels looked upon the daughters of mortality and sought to lie with them to create the children Bamon had wanted so badly.  Thus a second third fell.
   And Heaven fell with them.
   But in the final moments the Five Prophets of the mortal races joined together.  They performed a mighty ritual as the Holy City collapsed into chaos.  They Sundered Heaven.
   Creation split into three planes, Heaven, the Mortal Realm and Hell.  And the Host remained in Heaven.  To Hell the Fallen and the Nopheratus were banished.  And in the Mortal Realm the rest lived.  God forgave all sins, so that the mortals could awaken again in innocence.
   But innocence did not last long.
The Echoes of Heaven:  Available for HARP and Rolemaster.  www.FinalRedoubt.com

Offline lorenen

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Re: Preview 2: Creation Story
« Reply #1 on: January 13, 2006, 03:40:11 AM »
i must tell you the truth.. i don't like very much the beggining (already seen.. too bible-like) but when you start to talk about Dwarves that want to fight the story become better.. the idea of the Nospheratus its interesting and the falling of the Holy City its a very cool idea!!! even the final paragraph its very interesting. Have you read some books for angelic/demoniacal names? or are all created from nothing? 



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Offline Defendi

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Re: Preview 2: Creation Story
« Reply #2 on: January 13, 2006, 04:45:31 AM »
One of the benefits of using the real world for tone and flavor is that you are steeped in things like angel and demon names.  I'm reading To Reign in Hell right now, which I HIGHLY recommend, but I don't know that I've seen many names in there I didn't already know.
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Offline lorenen

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Re: Preview 2: Creation Story
« Reply #3 on: January 13, 2006, 05:48:25 AM »
I've read extracts from "classical texts", in particular regarding demons of mid-east traditions like those of Caldea, Babilonia and from Jew tradition. I'am GM in my hystorical-fantasy setting that is full of this stuff so i must (maybe "must" is not the right word because i like to read this kind of things  ::) ) know a bit of these "things"..



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Re: Preview 2: Creation Story
« Reply #4 on: January 13, 2006, 08:38:49 AM »
Interesting read.  Enough of an established story line that most can follow along, but with a few twists to make it unique to the setting.  I like the dwarves stepping up, and I am curious as to the consequence of the Humans and Elves coming as individuals, and "not as one".

I see a very strong connection to the "In Nomine" game (which I mentioned on another thread).  Is that a specific influence or just a coincidence?

Either way I like what I see and will be VERY interested to purchase the final work.

Offline Defendi

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Re: Preview 2: Creation Story
« Reply #5 on: January 13, 2006, 08:48:20 AM »
I suspect In Nomine and I drew from the same sources.  :)  At any rate, I've never cracked and In Nomine book or seen a game played.  However, if it deal with angels it's likely that there will be similarities.  :)  I have a guy in my writer's group that studies viking legends and the like.  He has he hardest time not writing cliches, cause everyone has drawn from the same sources.  :)

More on the implications on the elves and humans later.
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Re: Preview 2: Creation Story
« Reply #6 on: January 13, 2006, 01:35:41 PM »
Most likely.  The nutshell take on In Nomine is the war between Heaven and Hell ala Christian dogma.  PC's get to play angels (or if the GM wants to) demons (who are really just fallen angels).  God is removed from the day-to-day workings of creation, and so it is up to the Archangels and their servants (or the Princes of Hell and their lackeys) to duke it out.

In the Corporeal realm (what you call the Material world), there are sites sacred to both sides.  They are gateways to the respective places.  They are called Tethers.  There is always conflict when one side tries to establish a tether in or neare another tether - and sometimes conflict within one of the sides - Angles or demons don't always get along with one anothe,r even if they are on the same side.

Anyway, lots of similarity.  I see your setting as a chance to bring elements of In Nomine into a fantasy game, something that has always tickeled me in the back of my brain.

Keep at the good work.

Offline markc

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Re: Preview 2: Creation Story
« Reply #7 on: January 15, 2006, 12:05:42 AM »
I think the theam is perfect for thetimes with the popularity of the DaVinchi code and other religous thrillers. Especially with the movie comming out this summer.
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Offline Defendi

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Re: Preview 2: Creation Story
« Reply #8 on: January 15, 2006, 01:17:50 AM »
I'm glad its playing well.  Setting design is a very fine line.  You have to be original enough the setting seems fresh, but familiar enough that everyone can relate to it.  I've seen a lot of original settings like Eberron have very negative reactions because the setting is TOO different.  Anyway, its good to see people reacting well.  :)
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Offline markc

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Re: Preview 2: Creation Story
« Reply #9 on: January 16, 2006, 12:40:17 AM »
I'm glad its playing well.? Setting design is a very fine line.? You have to be original enough the setting seems fresh, but familiar enough that everyone can relate to it.? I've seen a lot of original settings like Eberron have very negative reactions because the setting is TOO different.? Anyway, its good to see people reacting well.? :)

I agree on the fine line, thier are some settings that other people love and I dislike. I am supprised that Eberron is one people do not like, I would suppose it is because of the magic level/concept. I personally thought DragonLance would be a good setting but then the more I thought about it the more I decided against it. In the past I have thought I had a great idea or twist for a setting but after further development thier was not enough thier. If I were an author I think I would come up with 5 or 10 concepts and fold them into 1 good story/idea.  Hopefully their are enough of us out here to support all or most of them.

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Bacon Law: A book so good all PC's need to be recreated.
Rule #0: A GM has the right to change any rule in a book to fit their game.
Role Play not Roll Play.
Use a System to tell the story do not let the system play you.

Offline Defendi

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Re: Preview 2: Creation Story
« Reply #10 on: January 16, 2006, 12:56:28 AM »
I'm not saying that Ebberon is doing badly or that it isn't a good setting.  I just know a lot of people who scoff at it and it seems from asking them why that its most of what makes the setting unique that offends them.  Its just too different for these people to relate too.  These are the same things that make its supporters like it.  The trick is to get more people to like it than to scoff. :)
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Offline lorenen

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Re: Preview 2: Creation Story
« Reply #11 on: January 16, 2006, 03:48:35 AM »
Quote from: 'Defendi'
The trick is to get more people to like it than to scoff. Smiley

I agree but only if your aim is selling more.. sometimes a product that many finds un interesting is the better one.. take a look for example at RM vs D&D.. if ICE had followed the phylosophy of "more selling" now this forum will be pretty different..  ;D there is still the hardest way.. make something very interesting and very good..  ::)



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Offline Defendi

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Re: Preview 2: Creation Story
« Reply #12 on: January 16, 2006, 06:20:03 AM »
This is a busuness.  No business ever makes decisions they think will get them LESS customers.  :)  If either ICE or I thought like that, we'd give away oure products for free.  :)
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Offline lorenen

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Re: Preview 2: Creation Story
« Reply #13 on: January 16, 2006, 07:21:37 AM »
This is a busuness.  No business ever makes decisions they think will get them LESS customers.  :)  If either ICE or I thought like that, we'd give away oure products for free.  :)

maybe i was misunderstood..

Quote from: 'Lorenen'
there is still the hardest way.. make something very interesting and very good..

This what ICE had done imo (and as i had said to you i think that you are doing the same, something new and 'fresh' )




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Offline Defendi

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Re: Preview 2: Creation Story
« Reply #14 on: January 16, 2006, 07:46:14 AM »
Okay.
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Offline markc

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Re: Preview 2: Creation Story
« Reply #15 on: January 16, 2006, 04:01:42 PM »
I agree that Eberrron is not Grayhawlk/Blackmore or even Forgoten Realms and a big step from those settings. I can see how quite a few people who play in more histiric settings would not like the broad changes in Eberron. I know a few gamers who as they get older like more historic settings vs magic rich settings.

I also agree that no company would knowingly destroy thier fan base. But I get the fealing that somehow Hasbro in buying Wizards of the Coast has damaged the fan base. I think thier managment style is something to do with it. I dont have any numbers to back up my fealing but it just the general sence when I am in the game store or talking to people who play. I can also say that I only wish them the best of luck in thier work.
MDC
Bacon Law: A book so good all PC's need to be recreated.
Rule #0: A GM has the right to change any rule in a book to fit their game.
Role Play not Roll Play.
Use a System to tell the story do not let the system play you.

Offline mocking bird

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Re: Preview 2: Creation Story
« Reply #16 on: February 15, 2006, 05:08:39 PM »
i must tell you the truth.. i don't like very much the beggining (already seen.. too bible-like)

Actually the whole war in heaven, rebellion of the angels, the fall (or even mention of for that matter) Lucifer and all that isn't in the Bible at all but can be attributed a lot to Milton & some Renaissance artists although a similar legend appears in the Qur'an and I believe the Apocalypse of Moses.  Which also equates Satan (or Asmodeus really) with the serpent in the Garden but I digress......

Reading the second on the Nephilim part I am guessing Defendi has read Enoch.  If not than should.  Available free on the net.

Have heard of In Nomine but never read anything.

I usually get a bit edgy when fantasy creation stories start to resemble 'real world' mythological ones.  But the story diverges a little later on (need to review the rest of the posts). 

It seems take one part Enoch, one part Xian legend, a dash of Valentinus, a pinch of Silmarillion - mix thoroughly.  Some familiarity is good.

I am glad to see that dwarves are the heroes. ;D  Unless that changes later on as I read more.

Looks like I will have to pick up some Brust now.
Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.    Buddha

Offline Defendi

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Re: Preview 2: Creation Story
« Reply #17 on: February 15, 2006, 05:25:46 PM »
I've never read Enoch, although I have a copy here.  :)  Maybe I should.
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Offline mocking bird

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Re: Preview 2: Creation Story
« Reply #18 on: February 15, 2006, 05:48:09 PM »
A lot of it will look really familiar in that the story has been copied in other legends - the War in Heaven for instance.  The lines between tradition, common misconceptions and original text gets fuzzy on occassion.

And to think, the Nephilim and Enoch only made two lines each in Genesis and look what they spawned.  He got his own book, the Nephilim acutally got their own game.

But gotta go - curling is on.
Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.    Buddha