Here is the "flavor text" for the cards. The higher numbers are meant to be battle cries in capitals, and the lower numbers I just mock the players, hehe. Some of them are a little lame, as I think my inspiration for coming up with text towards the end fizzled out. I may make another deck to add to this one. But for now this is the deck I have:
Ace Spades "DIE A THOUSAND DEATHS!"
King Spades "YOU ARE DOOMED!"
Queen Spades "YOUR MOTHER HATES YOU!"
Jack Spades "YOU SHALL SUFFER!"
10 Spades "I GIVE YOU DEATH!"
9 Spades "You are bland and average."
8 Spades "You can do better than that!"
7 Spades [Draw Another Card, and add it to this one.]
6 Spades "You're late to dinner."
5 Spades "Use the pointy end."
4 Spades "Are you good at anything?"
3 Spades "Give into despair..."
2 Spades "To call you slow, is an insult to all of the slow people."
Ace Clubs "DIE, SONS OF MOTHERLESS GOATS!"
King Clubs "THY TIME IS AT AN END!"
Queen Clubs "YOUR MOTHER REGRETS YOU!"
Jack Clubs "DIE AND CURSE IN VAIN!"
10 Clubs "I BRING PAIN!"
9 Clubs "Ouch!"
8 Clubs "Move faster!"
7 Clubs [Draw Another Card, and add it to this one.]
6 Clubs "Are you sleeping?"
5 Clubs "You are bad at this, give up."
4 Clubs "Not a fast one are you?"
3 Clubs "If your father could see you now, he would weep."
2 Clubs "You might want to quit..."
Ace Diamonds "DIE, SCUM LICKING VERMIN!"
King Diamonds "SOON YOU DIE!"
Queen Diamonds "YOUR MOMMA IS NEXT!"
Jack Diamonds "NO MORE BREATH FOR YOU!"
10 Diamonds "GIVE UP ALL HOPE!"
9 Diamonds "Unggggghghgh!"
8 Diamonds "Death comes to most of us."
7 Diamonds [Draw Another Card, and add it to this one.]
6 Diamonds "Wake up!"
5 Diamonds "Not so good."
4 Diamonds "Nope, you still suck."
3 Diamonds "You are behind the snail..."
2 Diamonds "It's time to smash your head against the wall."
Ace Hearts "DIE, MULE LOVERS!"
King Hearts "I'LL EAT YOUR SPLEEN!"
Queen Hearts "YOUR MOTHER WILL CRY!"
Jack Hearts "SIX FEET DOWN YOU GO!"
10 Hearts "THIS IS YOUR LAST BREATH!"
9 Hearts "I love to see you bleed."
8 Hearts "Bloody lips drink sips." (kind of a dumb one..)
7 Hearts [Draw Another Card, and add it to this one.]
6 Hearts "Anybody in there?"
5 Hearts "You suck."
4 Hearts "Boo!"
3 Hearts "Last and least."
2 Hearts "Why do you even try?"