Humerous websites (possible offensive, or just stupid)

Started by lorenen, January 08, 2006, 07:29:55 AM

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yammahoper

A Womans Prayer

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's rich and self-employed,
And when I spend, won't be annoyed.
One who'll pull out my chair and hold my hand.
Massage my feet and help me stand..
Oh send a king to make me queen.
A man who loves to cook and clean..
I pray this man will love no other.
And relish visits with my mother.


A MAN'S Prayer:

I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with
big boobs who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a sh!t..
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time... like tears in rain... Time to die.

Arioch

I suppose a magician might, he admitted, but a gentleman never could.

yammahoper

Something humorous from a neat website:

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid term -- Hell Explained By a Chem Student
The answer by one student was so 'profound', that the professor shared it
with his colleagues via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have
the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

   One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
they are leaving I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many
souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in
the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are,
we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we
look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states
that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the
volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

              This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,
then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

              So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into
account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be
true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct
...... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being
which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting: 'Oh my God.'




I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time... like tears in rain... Time to die.

dutch206

What a coincidence.  Listening to Miley Cyrus sing gives me convulsions too:

http://bodyodd.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2010/09/15/5112026-mysterious-form-of-epilepsy-triggered-by-hannah-montana
"Cthulhu is the bacon of gaming." -John Kovalic, author of "Dork Tower"

yammahoper

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time... like tears in rain... Time to die.

Right Wing Wacko

Quote from: yammahoper on August 21, 2010, 10:56:44 PM
Something humorous from a neat website:

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid term -- Hell Explained By a Chem Student
The answer by one student was so 'profound', that the professor shared it
with his colleagues via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have
the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

   One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
they are leaving I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many
souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in
the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are,
we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we
look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states
that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the
volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

              This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,
then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

              So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into
account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be
true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct
...... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being
which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting: 'Oh my God.'
Oh
My
God!

Ahhhhh...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Now I have to go change my underwear!
A military solution isn't the only answer, just one of the better ones.
www.strategypage.com

"Note #0: A GM has the right to change any rule in a book to fit their game."- markc

Right Wing Wacko

Oops!

http://www.strategypage.com/military_videos/military_photos_20100915135441.aspx

This is why you need to measure your explosives very carefully...
A military solution isn't the only answer, just one of the better ones.
www.strategypage.com

"Note #0: A GM has the right to change any rule in a book to fit their game."- markc

yammahoper

the vid is cool, very work safe.

http://www.videobash.com/video_show/lego-sniper-rifle-10189
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time... like tears in rain... Time to die.

Marc R

That it looks like a sniper rifle just indicates patience and hard work, that it actually fires (if there wasn't a person off frame shooting things down) was quite amazing.
The Artist Formerly Known As LordMiller

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